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July 30, 2002


Well, now updates work for both journal and motd. Still no editing after post, but I didnt have that before.

Need to fix links... some need to open another window, some do not, so i need another variable.

Need to think about how T-stories, collabowriting, todays ink, and others will fit in. (Yes Erik, I want to help you revive todays ink)

More vacation work, I'm afraid, but I have a feeling I'll be doing A LOT of updating from Maine. OOH OOOH! That means I can start another MT category for that, which my parents can read somewhere else. Wooohoo.

July 28, 2002

And so it begins...

Oh, it's been a long day but I think I'm very close to finishing the changeover to a totally xml/php/css system... clever php scripting is going to allow me to re-process all of my old motd entries. I think the journal will be a little harder. The blogger and movable type stuff is easiest (woohoo!) And then I'll be able to edit from ONE PAGE. And you'll be able to check on any of my ramblings from one place.

And syndication will be simple then!

That means more updates to T-stories, Beans, and Collabowriting, eventually.

I'm even almost smiling.

Thanks <A HREF="http://www.hit-or-miss.org">Matt</A>! I really really thank you. Someday I'll even thank you with a cup of coffee or a pint of ale.

July 26, 2002

A volunteer!

Pulling my hair out...

Horrible dream...

Ok, so I had a f*cking HORRIBLE dream last night. So horrible I can't say much. It involved physical restraint and about a half dozen big, dark, Italian mafia looking guys. It ended, thankfully, before I woke up, with my calling 911. Needless to say, my day has been a little wacko, and I get very uncomfortable even thinking about it.

July 25, 2002

What would the 'rents think?

I wonder what my parents would think if they came across this blog? Hm.

I dont even think about things like that anymore, because they know all my secrets now. Well, almost all, but some things really are Too Much Information.

<B>Mom:</B> <I>Why did you and Jen break up?</I>
<B>Me:</B> <I>I just didn't find her sexually attractive anymore.</I>

Just enough info to make that subject drop.

And now, to the XML retrofit...

July 24, 2002

Of moths and family, and blah


Mothman Prophesies... dull.

Email from only female cousin. She's gonna be the highlight of the reunion, I can guarantee. Why, you may ask? Oh, lets start with a) she's preggers and due in October. b) she's not married. c) she's dating a non-white man. Old school conservativism may well be in full effect, which would make for a lovely reunion.

Oh, and my being gay? If anybody asks, will I tell? Not sure. Do they really need to deal with so much when I only see them every few years? Give me a break, I've known for 12 and just now told my parents, and I've been dating <A HREF="http://www.naladahc.com">him</A> for 5 of those.

What else... work, boring.

Heat and humidity have been oppressive.

That's my life. Oh, and trying to get things in order for the reunions. I have the hotel already, for one. The other I probably won't need. *crosses fingers*

July 18, 2002

House of Love, Your Technology Resource

So, my hard drive payment was made. The money has now vacated my account. I have an 18G Seagate Cheetah 10000RPM drive headed my way.

And, I talked to someone at work who thinks we might be surplusing a 16-port 10-base-t switch. That would be ... nice. Kinda. I could actually put all of our connections into one device.

July 17, 2002

My family is cool

I forgot to mention:

a) My mom said "It was good to see you guys Friday. Come again when you can stay longer." Umm. Should I be signing my mom up for P-FLAG, or what?

b) Naladahc took this GREAT photo of the sign at Blaney's end of Hell

<IMG SRC="http://www.naladahc.com/blogart/02-07-13-barns.jpg" width="280">

c) I am very happy in the fact that he seemed to like it <A HREF="http://www.barnesvilleohio.com">there</A>.

d) I found a store in Bethel, ME that sells city histories that my grandmother has copies of, which contain photos of my great grandparents. This makes me very happy.

e) I might just have enough money to rent the car and go meet my great aunt Addie at her restaurant in Andover, ME, just off the trail. And perhaps see a few other relatives I've never met, too.

XML is coming! Hide the women and the sheep!

Oh, gigamatic, your php-blog-editing, blogger-editing and movable-type days are near over. Just as soon as I can get through my work projects.

Maybe then I can focus on collabowriting, t-stories @ reaching, and reviving todaysink.

Erik, if you're reading, I'm serious.

And all of the rest of you, go say hi to <A HREF="http://sassymama.blogspot.com">Sassy Mama</A> aka EO aka Christine.

Not to be confused with <A HREF="http://www.anaphase.com">Skanky Ho</A>. Just so ya know.

July 16, 2002

Half-price creativity

$60 and 3 XML books later, I'm feeling poor. But, I also got some cheapass mixable cd's, so that's good. I also got a book called "Zen Computer" so we'll see how that is.

XML and PHP seem to be the way to go (at this juncture) with gigamatic and all the plethora of other sites of mine. At least experimentally. I should be able to combine my editor pages into one, and also streamline my templates some more, which is always good.

I have the starts to a couple new designs in my head. Combinations of older ones, I think. It's so hard for me to think visually anymore, when CODE is all I do. Perhaps I should hang around with creative-types more often. I think Browning could be an excellent resource.

I also need to start sketching more. Anything, really, to get myself to realize I can do better. I used to be a talented penciller. Today, I'm not. It's funny how well I used to think in 3-dimensions. I've lost that now.

It's work. I can no longer blink things into my mind. Now it takes hours.

I can't take some wood and a saw and create a scale-model half-timbered house with compound angles and such. My brain no longer does that, and it's sad.

But, all those angles are math and applied logic, and if I was doing everything in my head (which I was) then I havent really lost that -- that's all coding is.

Now if only I could see color and 2-dimensional shapes as logic and math.

July 14, 2002

The joy and sorrow of home

In an effort to stop moping around and crying, I'll let you in on a couple secrets. I'm starting a move to XML on this site and my others. Fun, eh? It's part of an effort to make everything more portable.

Also, in reference to the weekend, I'd have to say it was more good than bad. Naladahc and I stopped at my parents' house on the way to the funeral, and thus he was my first friend in the last 9 years to go there. I dont even remember Jen ever being there.

It went better than I expected, and Mom and Dad even invited us back. US... the two of us. I do need to help cut firewood, and Naladahc wants to go meditate in the peace and quiet, so it might actually be soon.

Naladahc got to see a lot of places he's heard me mention, and see why I actually like going home. It's beautiful and quiet. And he got to see the cows. And my old cat. And my dad, mowing hay. My room up in the half-storey. My old closet-sized bedroom.

My mom was actually happy to see us. What a relief.

I showed Naladahc the beautiful houses, the small grocery, my old church, the high school... our friend Rob's old house. The old roads we all used to drive at 70mph.

Today, I went online to research real estate prices. My grandmother's old 3 bedroom has come down from 36000 to 28000. That's damn affordable.... or it would be if someone put the new roof on it and had sured-up the basement. It's still cheap enough I could buy it and move my parents into it.

But, what I'd really like to do is buy the 77-acre farm next door to them and add a new house onto it. Good spring water, a good septic system and acres and acres of trees. A perfect getaway.

Maybe someday.

July 13, 2002

Weirded out...

Yes, I was very weirded out. Seeing one of your closest friends from years ago dead in a box does wonders for one's sanity.

Watching others have the same reaction was strangely comforting. This was the first funeral of a friend, or someone I was even close with, so I was still very edgy. We approached the coffin, looked at the flowers, the photos, and the poetry. The rose. The Bible verse. The clothes he was wearing. And then his face.

I think I physically shuddered. I started to cry, I went outside, and I shook. I watched others my age do the same.

It's all very awkward. But, the only comforts I find are that he isn't suffering anymore, and that he was completely prepared for death since the day I met him.

Despite his devout Christianity and desire for evangelism, he never condemned me for dating men. We never really talked about it, that I recall. We were just friends, accepting each other's real and perceived faults, and that makes all the difference.

Cliche as it is, I'm sorry that I didn't get a chance to say goodbye... that I didn't get to give him one last hug.

July 12, 2002

RIP, friend

<I>You remember your friend Shawn? Shawn Reed? He died last Sunday.</I>


<I>He was working in Chicago for the last three years for <A HREF="http://www.jpusa.org" target="_blank">Jesus People USA</A> doing inner-city ministry. He died Sunday in [name of] Hospital in Chicago.</I>

Wow. That explains why I hadn't been able to get ahold of him.

<I>Viewing is Friday 2-4 and 7-9, with a service 9-11 Saturday.</I>

I spent most of the night calling around to try to find the rest of his friends here in Ohio to let them know. I also spent part of that time beating myself up for not being closer in the last few years. Convincing myself that it was all ok was the hard part. But, Shawn never faced death unafraid. To him it was just another part of life. "Why should I get upset? We all die, and I know where I'm going."

So then, when I finally couldnt call any more people, and I was done being mad at myself, I started to think about Shawn and all of the silly things we used to do.

Despite his Muscular Dystrophy, he was a very active and FUNNY guy. You all should have known him. He had a way of making you laugh no matter how depressed or upset you were.

Goodbye Shawn...

July 10, 2002

XML? Well, maybe.

It's been a LONG time since I've been excited about anything programming-wise, and while others were shouting the praises of XML and RSS, I was muttering about learning something new.

What I have found, in the last 3 days, is that XML and RSS are really quite cool, and, for me, pretty useful.

No, they still aren't the end of custom programming, but they sure will make coding some of my pages easier, in the long run.