hang up and drive
this morning, i was stopped well behind the line in the westbound left turn lane at the intersection of ackerman and kenny. i'm listening to my friend on the radio (97.1) and cursing the fact that i've hit EVERY red light between home and work, adding many extra minutes to my commute. the traffic has a green light southbound on kenny, and the two turn lanes start their approach.
about 8 cars back is a black SUV with some bitch talking on her cell phone. i watch her approach and realize she's halfway in my lane. i have nowhere to go. i can't back up, and i can't move sideways. at the very last second (trust me, i was all tensed up and waiting for impact of my airbag) she swerved back into her own lane.
i realize that on rare occasion i am guilty of talking while driving. i have done it a handful of times without my hands-free kit, and only in extremely light traffic or traffic so heavy it isnt moving. it would not bother me at all if a law was passed to stop non-hands-free cell phone use by drivers. in fact, i might even campaign for it. i have a hands-free kit which works well, and a phone which is easily dialed to any particular contact of mine. i also have speakerphone, which i have yet to try. so it wouldnt bother me at all.
but bitch, when your SUV is barrelling towards me at 50 miles an hour because you're late for work and talking on your fucking phone instead of watching where you're going, you'd better believe if you hit me and i survive i'm gonna jam that thing so far up your ass you'll be typing out text messages with your tonsils.
ok... now i'm analyzing that last sentence. wouldnt it be easier to make her choke on it? yeah. but it doesnt sound as good.