gigamatic

so, today is the first day of my new weekly vacation.

my goals: laundry, dishes, and insulation. and hopefully getting disk 1 of frowny's bsg archived. if i get the walls washed for nala, so much the better.

it's already lunchtime. i havent accomplished much aside from pissing everyone off at work. that was easy. they forgot i have mondays off till March. i kept hearing a muffled ringing but thought it was in the tv -- turns out they were calling my cell, which i left upstairs and under a pile of blankets on the bed.

and the weird dreams keep on coming: first, i told off my aunt and gained respect from my cousin (her son) for doing it, despite my also taking a jab at him. she had said something about my parents (who may or may not've been dead in the dream) being, essentially (i'm paraphrasing) no-good uneducated losers. my response seemed elequent in the dream, but basically called her out for marrying money and sitting on her educated ass while her children a) walked all over her, and b) didnt finish high school, let alone college, and havent held a job ever. " and why do you think they moved to the other edge of the country?"

then, night before last was the night of the baby dreams. both nala and i had them. a little boy. in mine he was fairly new, still that matted hair that is so coarse on newborns. naladad was holding him. sitting next to nalamom on an unidentified couch. i dont even have dreams featuring my own family, so it seemed kind of odd to see them all.

last night, i dont remember any dreams, but i do remember waking knowing i had a dream about something odd.

maybe it's the paint in this room. or the lack of blankets. or the light. or the new sounds from this end of the house. whatever it is, it's weird.

i'm not ready to be a dad.