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defeated

i'm slowly coming to realize i'm in a funk. and it's bad. and it's self-feeding. i focus on it, and it pulls me in further. i try to break it, but then everything around me pushes me in. it's time to break out of it before it takes over completely.

i started out bad in the class i'm in. i've missed 3 days because of work. and i continued by frakking up the midterm, really bad. which only was returned 3 weeks later, and, feeling defeated, i didnt put the effort into the paper, which i also frakked up. between 3 weeks of stress and arguments with my family about the funeral, and the now constant "what the frakk are you thinking" with my father and his not taking care of himself, and then a few loud arguments with other folks, i just haven't been able to pull myself out of the muck this quarter.

What's past is past. I've just got to do better and move forward. Seriously.

I can, in theory, do this.

Goals:
1) 2 hrs of reading/study each day/night till the final exam.
2) Eat less. And better. Less trips to the "wheel of death" snack machine.
3) Start going to the gym. Especially once classes are done for break.
4) Start dressing better. Stop being a dirty slob.
5) Once I get the class paid off, start working on saving for a laptop.
6) House stuff. Too much to list here.
7) Card list/Christmas letter
8) Cookbook
9) Cookies