wake up and buckle down.
sinuses throbbing. bad sleep. not much sleep. horrible monday lays ahead. forgot (again) about class. and a hell meeting this afternoon, along with 2 hell projects today. uncertain what lunch will be, but dinner will have to be quick and dirty, since i have had a smack-in-the-face awakening and need to get back on track with a lot of things.
there is much to do, and not much time to do it. but, careful planning can get the jobs done.
i need to revisit my sent invites and rsvps and speak to nala again re: turkey day(s). i've got to get it all in order.
dad's PSAs are up, suddenly, from where they had been. he's supposed to have another test around the week before thanksgiving, after a month of antibiotics, but he's not sure he wants to wait around for that, and wants desperately to head south. with his seriously bad back and not supposed to be doing anything physical, he climbed up on the roof to un-cap the chimney and will have to climb up to cap it again. i said "why did you do that?" -- he said "because your mom couldn't" - too proud to ask for help, i suppose. if his back spasms or he twists wrong while up there again, he likely (his words) won't survive the fall. "your mom will be a rich woman," he said, without even a chuckle.
i cant even pretend to have gotten through the last 6 weeks. all that i keep thinking about is "what if" scenarios and my mind doesnt stop long enough for me to sleep. gram's gone, suddenly my mom became grandmotherly, and my dad is talking about death matter-of-factly. 50 zillion things came rushing into my head and, being unable to process them, i got stuck in the ever growing quagmire.
i can do better. i have in the past. i can and will. gotta focus.