gigamatic

This past week was filled with little mistakes that caused great frustration and sadness, culminating in the loss of 80 dozen pierogi. I'm glad that week is over.

I've still got a headache this morning -- was doing pretty well this weekend, so I'm not sure what it is. I think I'm grinding my teeth, or something, because my TMJ is most definitely back. Or maybe that's unrelated. At any rate, it hurts.

Friday, I got to spend the evening with the two folks I love most -- The Sis and Nala. The Bro in Law was there in spirit, and I forgot how much I like him, too. He's a good sport, and has a good sense of humor (but I know he used to have Max Power level mood swings, so I'm always cautious around him.)

I miss the Sis. Lots. Not so much I would ever want her to move back, but I do think we should arrange to visit more often. The Niece is now 4, and I've never met her. This must be fixed.

Something crazy happened at dinner, though, and at first, I blew off the significance of it, and then it hit me like a ton of bricks, and has been weighing on me ever since.

The Sis wants another kid. She's afraid of The Niece growing up alone. She asked what Nala and I thought of that... if being an only child was bad. It's not, but I do believe that having a sibling to torture or to back you up when needed is a good thing. It isn't bad -- it's just different.

She asked if we'd ever considered kids, and quickly moved on to thoughts of us being the parent for her next, which got quickly turned back to discussion about being an only. And then the food came or something, because the topic was dropped.

This is the second time she has asked. Once, before the niece, and once now.

It's weighing heavy on my mind. Part of me wants a kid... I can't deny that. But, I also know, I'm a slob, and I have a bad temper, and I like my free time. I'm also prone to thoughts of this not being a planet/time/etc that we (as Americans) should bring another kid into.

Now, throw my faults and those of our society out the window for a moment. Part of me would LOVE to be a parent. The richness of the history of my family, plus the fact that I know my parents would love to be grandparents, and having someone ELSE to spend money on and think about their wellbeing instead of my own... it's a fantasy that I sometimes love to think about. But it's just that. Reality is, parenting is hard.

Reality is, The Sis lives 4.5 hours away. How would custody work? And bills? Child support? How does that all get settled? Would The Niece really have a sibling or more of a "cousin" who came to visit for extended periods? How is that better than being an only child? Or, if custody isn't shared, how does that help? Is one parent just a donor and an absentee? Would one parent just be miserable and never get to participate in the child's life? That doesnt seem fair.

I really don't know. Things would be different if they lived closer, if you could share custody easier, I suppose. Wasting 9 hours in travel every weekend and passing the kid back and forth all the time just doesn't seem fair to the kid.

Now, putting all that aside, if The Sis and Bro in Law decided that they wanted another kid, and she asked me to donate the necessary genetic material (ONLY) in able for them to have a bigger family, I might be tempted to help out, even though it would mean I would have a biological kid who was being raised 4+ hours away, and I had nothing to do with. It would be a long hard decision. Because then, it's not my kid, really.

I'll lighten the mood and say if she decided to have multiples and we split up the litter, I'd be ok with mine having a cousin in Indiana.

Oh, and one more thing, in case you're a first time reader... The Sis is just a title... like The Doctor. She's not my sister. Eww.