So, yesterday, I called my mom to tell her about the party, and I got a big earful about my grandmother here in Ohio.
Gram's boyfriend, Orlie, died. This makes me very very very sad. Sadder than it makes her, because to her, he's just gone. To me, he's dead. Yes, he was older than dirt. Yes, he didnt get around well. Apparently, he fell, and his body just couldnt recover from it. He died in the hospital, not in the nursing home, which I think is good.
Orlie was always happy to see us, and took very good care of my grandma emotionally. They were like two kids in love, but in old bodies. They held hands at dinner, played cards together, snuck up on each other, always playing little tricks, or kissing innocently... They were king and queen of Valentine's Day for several years.
This makes me very very sad, and although she may not know he's dead, she does know that he's not around, and that by itself hurts. She doesnt remember that her one son died, and you cant remind her, because she's already in a very bad depression. This is made worse by the fact that she now shares her room with a dying woman. If I could, I would take her in myself, but I cant.
So, I'm doing the next best thing, and taking a day to go visit her. And probably do a lot of crying. And maybe, just maybe, take her out for lunch.
I have more news from that family front... her other favorite grandchild, M2, has started visiting again, and now has brought her fiance for gram's blessing. Apparently, she has it.
M2's father, however, still has yet to earn my respect. His wife, dealing with a second, more serious bout with cancer (this time, breast cancer), is also dealing with early onset Alzheimer's. He treats her horribly, according to Gram, and refuses to admit there's a problem. "Why cant you remember, you stupid ..." It's a lot of stress, I know, having a mother and wife who cant remember things well, if at all, and having had cancer yourself, and watching your wife battle it twice, and your brother die of a combination of several things which you yourself have had or may have in the future...