repost-Hardware Giant is LAME
I am contacting you on behalf of LF, LLC ("LF"). LF is the owner of the LOWE'S, LOWE'S DELIVERS, LOWE'S HOME IMPROVEMENT WAREHOUSE, AT HOME WITH LOWE'S HOME IMPROVEMENT WAREHOUSE, LOWE'S HOME IMPROVEMENT WAREHOUSE GARDEN CLUB & DESIGN, LOWE'S HOME SAFETY COUNCIL, LOWE'S HOME SAFETY COUNCIL & DESIGN, LOWE'S HOMESTEAD, LOWE'S IMPROVING HOME IMPROVEMENT, LOWE'S KNOWS,LOWESLINK, IMPROVING HOME IMPROVEMENT and THE GABLE MANSARD DESIGN trademarks and associated domain names. I manage LF's Internet trademark compliance program.
LF has recently been made aware that a link to Lowes.com appears on the website located at [URL removed] While we appreciate your interest in our website, we cannot allow third parties to link to it without express written permission. If you are interested in maintaining the link and entering into a link agreement, please go to www.lowes.com/linkagreement and apply for approval to enter into a Hypertext Link Agreement with LF, LLC and Lowe's Home Centers, Inc. Upon completion of the appropriate link agreement, please fax it to [Phone Number Removed].
Please address this issue immediately. Should you have any questions, please contact me at the address provided below.
Sincerely,
Trademark Manager
LF, LLC
2601 Annand Drive, Ste. 17
Wilmington, DE 19808
[Email Address Removed]
If you will recall, I wrote about the AWESOME idea I had for a movie [reference removed]. In my review, I supplied a Helpful Link to all the readers who wanted to know more about how toilets work. I have been sent what amounts to a cease and dissist order from Lowes. I have removed the link and replaced it with this rant.
Dear Lowes,
Yes, I linked to your site. I didn't link to any products; I know you foam at the mouth should anyone try to do price comparisons, so I knew better than to actually have a link to a ball cock on my site. Instead, I linked to useful information. I never thought for a moment this would be frowned upon. This would have increased traffic to your web site and given people a glimpse of the awesome home improvement tips included therein. Then in turn they probably would have purchased something from your site or store.
But apparently keeping your ball cocks to yourself is more important than fostering good will with your customers. And believe when I say I AM A CUSTOMER. I am in your store ALL THE TIME. I regularly spend fifty dollars and up each visit. Why, I was just there in your store on the 9th, where I spent $54.70, on what I don't know. On the 1st of the month I spent $89.43. You get the picture.
Well, get this...FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU for sending me a letter fucking six months after the link went up. FUCK YOU for taking my money for all these years and then fucking me in the ass in return. FUCK YOU, because it'll be a cold day in hell before I ever step foot in your store again. FUCK YOU, because I need to paint the kitchen and upstairs bedroom, and I need to resod the back yard, and I just enjoy hanging out there looking at all the cool faucets and I collect paint swatches from your American Signature paint line. But I guess I'll have to find a new paint to love because FUCK YOU.
And don't think I'm leaving you to go to Home Depot, because they're Republican lovers who eat babies.
In closing, FUCK YOU. AND the ball cock you rode in on.
Sincerely,
[reference removed]
Really Pissed Off
PS I INCLUDED THE FUCKING TRADEMARK ON MY ENTRY YOU STUPID FUCKING FUCKHEADS.
Posted November 19, 2004 09:56 AM
Original comments below the fold...
Posted by: me on November 19, 2004 10:40 AM
Wow. Brava.
I'm definitely doing a follow-up later today.
Posted by: [poster]'s brother on November 19, 2004 01:23 PM
Not only are Home Depot Republican lovers who eat babies (The Republicans, or Home Depot?), my ex-girlfriend seems to be making a career out of working there. So that's another reason to avoid that place. (Depot? Despot? Little too similar for my taste.)
You do realize that once [the movie] gets made, Lowes will be figuratively sucking your ball cock to have their brand whored all over that movie.
Posted by: me on November 19, 2004 05:40 PM
*sniff* I'll miss the American Signature paints most of all. I have about 50 bejillion swatches, all in coordinating color schemes.
Bastards.
Posted by: a friend on November 20, 2004 02:52 PM
why don't you get around referring to them at all by name and call them "not-high's" or "downe's", so they don't try to get you on defamation as well. (let me be sure to say here that this is not actual legal advice, which is how i get around the whole practicing-law-without-a-license thing.)
good luck!
Posted by: me on November 22, 2004 06:52 AM
Linking is covered under free speech, and their letter was a very vague bully-piece (not really a cease and desist in the strict sense), so I would say [the poster] was safe in voicing her opinion while reposting their letter, and I applaud it.