gigamatic

so.

i've gotten fat, right?
i've been totally flipping out?
paranoid?
nightmares?
lack of sleep?
bullshit stress from all directions?

yeah.
i nearly crashed this morning.

i went to the gym. i felt ok. i pushed myself harder, faster, because i wanted to make sure to get my heart rate up.

well, i did. boy did i. higher than ever.
and i felt, well... good. exhausted, but good.

but, my adrenaline was also up. and, i took a hot shower.
and then, i almost fainted.

seriously. wtf.
I've been REALLY REALLY good for the last 10 years, as far as EATING REGULARLY, and in mass quantities. I haven't had anything like this since I was living alone, biking 6 miles every day to work and back.

All of the same symptoms came back. I know what I'm dealing with... between my stress and my bad diet, it's adding to my borderline hypoglycemia. And after my morning meeting, I also watched in horror as my moodswing went crazy. Another sign.

So, what does that mean, dear reader? More (any) veggies. And lots of water. And maybe a trip to the doc to get something to help me sleep, if this week's events don't help, to get my balance back. Because I'm NOT quitting the gym now. I just got started.

I can't spend every day alternating between near-fainting, crying, and punching things. I just have to make it through the week.